Sleepless in the Moonspell

The clock struck midnight. The city was slowly drowning in dreams and darkness. But I did not want to sleep. Neither listening to the whining gothic rock serenades, nor reading the traditional going-to-bed chapter from the Bible (the Lavey Bible, of course) could not tune the mind to sleep mode. It wanted to go to the computer, to the mysterious world of Microsoft. Trying to find at least some useful application to my newly obtained energy, I wrote a dozen of entirely non-serious questions, which, thanks my arrogance, were immediately sent to Fernando Ribeiro - the singer of Moonspell. Back at his place in Portugal Fernando seemed sleepless too, and answered all of this bullshit. So let us hail the makers of the Internet and let us read this interview.

Rag Doll: What was the most nasty/naughty thing you wanted to do as a child and never did?

Fernando: I was obsessed by Spider Man and wanted to climb a wall with slippery socks in my hands. I was not allowed. My cousin did so and the result was a hospital visit and some broken bones. Nevertheless to fight my father I once wiped the floor with my bare ass after drawing on it with colored pencils. He told me I had not the guts to do so. Find out I had.

Rag Doll: Your friend's favourite pet hamster passed away. What song would you play at the funeral of the poor creature?

Fernando: Death is not the end by Bob Dylan. As sung by Nick Cave and Co. in Murder Ballads. It raises the dead!

Rag Doll: Which of the movie characters does each of the band members associate himself with and why?

Fernando: I have no idea so I will make it up! Fernando:Jack Skellington (Nigtmare before Christmas-Tim Burton); Pedro: Clooney on From dusk till dawn; Sergio: the quick reverend on Tombstone; Mike: Casper as himself; Ricardo would be in the band of any Kusturica movie playing his guitar. Why? Because I am a sinister singer, Pedro a Clooney lookalike, Sergio a ghost cowboy, Mike I just wanted something sweet to piss him off and Ricardo because a man is his guitar.

Rag Doll: Name three reasons why you can't shave your head bald?

Fernando: I can not even shave properly! But I give three reasons why I would not: 1 - the above mentioned shaving non-existent skills, 2 - a big head, 3 - the fear of what I might encounter now the hair was gone.

Rag Doll: Suppose Enrique Iglesias and Ricky Martin while being drunk proposed you to shoot a joint video with them on one of your songs. Moreover they proposed paying for it too. What would the song be and what would the video be about?

Fernando: Self-Abuse from Butterfly effect and the concept would be them covered in honey and sugar. Their fans would be transformed into flies and let loose on a closed room with no windows. There would be a bed and some girl with peanut butter on her sex would call her dog in to lick her. The name of the dog is Ricky. Then Ricky would come out of a closet. True story. She would commit suicide. Enrique Iglesias would learn how to sing. They all die at the end. And I cash in no less than 10 million dollars for their lifetime experience.

Rag Doll: You were given a million bucks that you must spend in one hour... Your actions?

Fernando: I would buy a building in Lisbon and pay in cash. Move there, get a party done with whoever was on the streets. Kill some politicians and bail me out. The rest of the money I would light my cigars with. Together with all the homeless in Lisbon. As for charity, dream on…

Rag Doll: The most horrible rock singer is... (and why?)

Fernando: The guy from Crazy Town the American band. I doubt he can even speak. Is this rock anyway? Hope not.

Rag Doll: You have won the annual sinners lottery, and can choose any of the three prizes:
a) a lifetime free pass to a 1st class sauna in hell
b) a leather outfit secondhanded from Lucifer himself
c) absolution. Your choice?

Fernando: Absolution. From everything and everyone.

Rag Doll: The most stupid birthday present you ever got?

Fernando: Being born.

Rag Doll: Your band receives a letter with a semi-nude picture of a gorgeous blonde that reads - "To you my love". Who is intended to?

Fernando: Definitely to one of our roadies. We get the schizo letters and the complaints instead!

Rag Doll: Good night and sleep tight...

Fernando: You too.


(September, 2002)

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